If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
