Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Randomize
