operation have a gay friend backfired
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
