You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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