her facebook's as public as her vagina
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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