careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
