yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Randomize
