I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
