Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
