whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
