hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Come share oat with me in your robe
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
