Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Randomize
