And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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