Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
