Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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