Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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