The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
