Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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