you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
