omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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