you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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