walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
