when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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