I just saw a hot homeless man
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
