Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize