Sponge bath it is.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
