I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize