Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
