Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
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