I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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