If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Randomize
