Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
We don't watch enough power rangers
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Randomize
