so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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