You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize