Whatcha textin bout Willis?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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