and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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