you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
