the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
