Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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