I must be too annoying 4 u.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
