I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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