It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
