remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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