We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
