i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
