I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Dicks are not precious.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize