thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
