am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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