my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
