oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Randomize
