Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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