I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
