I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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