I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
