i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
