btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
