There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
