there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
