Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
