The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I will die if light touches me.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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