There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize