Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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